Three years ago the world was still fine. It seemed that nothing in the world could shake this order. Since then everything has changed. Everything is upside down. I lost touch with my beloved granddaughter!  

But first things first: Katja, my dear granddaughter, was born in spring 2012. At that time, my son had already separated from his partner at the time, with whom he was not married. Shortly after Katja's birth, she left the house they had lived in together and took the child with her. In the time that followed, it became apparent that the mother wanted to own Katja and raise her without her father, because an amicable contact arrangement could not be agreed, despite the involvement of the youth welfare office.  

The first legal proceedings before the family court were therefore looming in order to establish a contact arrangement, which the mother initially reluctantly but then implemented quite reliably.
Two years later, in 2015, there was a legal dispute over custody, because joint custody was never an option for the mother. The higher regional court finally confirmed the decision of the district court that parental custody is now exercised jointly. My son often came to visit me with his new partner and Katja, where I live alone - my husband died 8 years ago - in a house with a large plot of land. Katja loved romping around the house, playing by the nearby stream or working in the garden with me. And I enjoyed watching Katja enjoying all these new impressions that she didn't have in her mother's city apartment.

The four of us went on vacation and I shared a room with Katja. That was always the greatest thing for her. Whether we were in the Harz Mountains, the Black Forest or the Allgäu, I was always very happy about Katja's lively presence and Katja never left my side. I've always been sad when it was time to say goodbye. But I knew it wasn't for long.  

On a weekend in April 2018, my granddaughter was due to visit again, because my son was with her nearby on a father-child weekend and the two then wanted to stop by before Katja was supposed to return to her mother on Sunday evening .
Katja proudly told me about her experiences of the weekend together with her dad. She visited an extinct volcano and - like the cavemen of old - made fire.

Katja was tired but happy when the two finally left for home. It was to be the last time I had contact with Katja and was able to speak to her. It breaks my heart.  

Since Katja's return to her mother this weekend, she initially prevented further contact with my son out of the blue, until Katja finally vehemently refused contact with her father and the entire paternal family, including me. The attempts at mediation by the youth welfare office were initially able to overcome Katja's negative attitude and Katja was able to go back to her father on two weekends in November. Everything was as before. Katja was happy and content.

Now the mother has filed a criminal complaint against my son for causing bodily harm to Katja. She was finally successful with this, because the contact was initially suspended by the court and a family psychological report was commissioned. The report revealed that Katja is in a conflict of loyalties, that she has an unhealthy symbiotic connection with her mother and that she sacrificed her connection with her father as a result. It was recommended that the parents seek advice and Katja should be relieved by an independent person of trust. Both - advice and help for Katja - were successfully refused by Katja's mother, so that in the end, due to the deadlocked situation over the elapsed time, contact between Katja and my son was suspended by the court for another 18 months.

This also meant for me that I would not see Katja, my friendly, happy little granddaughter again for a long time. I was shaken. My son's long, grueling struggle for his beloved daughter has made him ill. It hurts me a lot to see that all his efforts are in vain and totally ignored by the judges and others involved. He's suffering a lot - and I'm suffering with him.  

A child needs both parents to be happy. Why is nobody seeing this? I am now 80 years old and I no longer have the strength to face a court case to fight for my relationship with Katja. I just really hope that my son gets in contact with Katja again, that Katja doesn't forget her grandmother and that the wounds heal. I wish so much that Katja would frolic around me again - like she used to.   

But I don't know if I can still experience that...